


Cookie Doughtn't You Dare

by Rookmoon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Baking, Because Sans, Cookies, Established Relationship, Fluff, Food, Gen, Just because he goes WAY too far with jokes sometimes, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Puns & Word Play, Sans Being Sans, Sans is Kind Of an Asshole, friendly mischief, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-06-18 10:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15483897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rookmoon/pseuds/Rookmoon
Summary: Reader makes cookies and Sans makes mischief.





	1. Chapter 1

     You knew that Sans liked it when you baked cookies, but you forgot that he also like dipping his fingers into the batter and eating as much as he can while trying not to get caught. Once you saw him levitate a spoon, dip it in the delicious batter, and drip a trail all the way back to his spot on the couch. Honestly, you’re lucky he didn’t just steal the whole bowl.

     This time, he was hovering over your shoulder while you mixed the delectable gooey ambrosia. You lightly swatted his hand when he tried sneaking a finger past you and into the waiting cookie dough. It was begging to be eaten, but it was fated to be cooked. Then he can eat as much as he wants.

     “aw, come on, sweetheart. not even a little bit?” He pleaded. You could hear the pout in his voice.

     “Not until this bowl is empty and the cookies are in the oven.” You fought back a smile. “Now, would you be a dear and go see if Paps needs help with dinner?”

     “he’s fine. paps has it covered.”

     “Then maybe you could go lay down while these cook. You can have the spoon later.”

     “only if I get a kiss.”

     “Behave and I’ll think about it.” You teased.

     “that’s cruel.”

     Sans went into the living room. No doubt thinking up some way to get you back for withholding the dough. You knew that he would eventually. Sans never forgets. He’s like an elephant if an elephant was a short skeleton who always smelled sweet for some strange reason. Kind of like the cookies you were making right now.

     Hold on. Where did the bowl go?!

     You looked up, and watched as it floated out of the kitchen. You followed it, and walked right into Sans. The bowl wasn’t quite there yet, and he didn’t even get a good swipe in before you snatched the bowl from it’s floating place and stalked back to the kitchen.

     Sans felt determination stir in his soul. He WOULD taste that cookie dough, and he wasn’t about to let you stop him.

     He waited until you were greasing the cookie sheet before popping in and swiping his finger through the dough and making a speedy exit. To his room. He made sure the door was locked before going to enjoy his stolen treat. He knew it was only a matter of time before you saw the giant gouge in the doughs surface.

     “SAAANS!”

     That took less time than he thought.

     “I KNOW YOU TOOK SOME DOUGH!!!”

     “so much for what she dough not know won’t hurt her.” Sans sighed before he licked his fingers clean and went back down stairs.

     You pushed him over to the couch, and had him sit. Then, you put on a Metaton Special. Upon hearing the too catchy theme, Papyrus came rocketing down stairs and crashed into the couch. He almost squashed Sans when he saw his brother already on the couch.

     “sugar, please don’t do this to me.” His eyes were small and his grin was strained. Not enough to be alarming, but it was still there.

     “I’ll join you when the cookies are in the oven.” You winked, sauntering back into the kitchen to finish your sweet confections.

     As revenge, Sans ate most of the cookies, dipped in milk of course (What is he, a heathen?) and snuggled into you when you decided to watch another movie together. His bones poked you, but you didn’t really mind. Sans started thinking about better, more interesting forms of revenge for denying him the doughy delicacy he so craved.

     When you fell asleep, he settled for drawing patterns all over your face. He’d have to see what happens when you look in the mirror in the morning.

     It was a bonafide riot when you saw what he did to your face in the morning. The marker wasn’t easy to get off, either. You had stalked out of the bathroom with your face red from scrubbing and a determined gleam in your eyes. You ended up getting him back by dying his soap bright pink and putting some glitter in there for good measure. MTT brand glitter.


	2. Another Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans tries again.

     You had to admit. Your skeleton beau had gotten better at sneaking your uncooked confections. Less than a week after last time, when you all but chased him out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon with him cackling the whole time. He had even gone as far as actually making his own cookie dough to eat in strange places, and making a mess for either you or his brother to find.

     That’s exactly why you’re looking up at the ceiling right now. Sans is sitting up there like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Completely upside down. With a bowl of dough that really doesn’t look half bad, and a wooden spoon stuck halfway into his mouth. He was dripping on the ceiling. The God Damned Ceiling.

     You resent him and his weird gravity powers. That’s going to be one hell of a mess to clean up by the time he’s done up there. You decide to try out a new recipe. Maybe that will get him to come down and laze around on the couch like he normally does. It creeps you out to see him walk around on the ceiling like he does that every day.

     Maybe that’s why you’ve sometimes seen footprints up there before….

     Oh well, those peanut butter cookies aren’t going to cook themselves. Besides, you’re going to need two batches for your plan to work. You don’t know if Sans has ever tried peanut butter cookies before, and these ones involve giant chocolate kisses on top, so they’ve got to be good.

     You know that you going into the kitchen isn’t enough incentive for Sans to follow you, but you had also seen that his bowl is almost empty, and he might as well have a black hole where his stomach should be, saying as you’ve seen him idly eat his way through an entire buffet once. You prepare your ingredients. Just enough sugar in one container, and another container with a couple tablespoons of sugar, and enough salt sifted together to make it look like the same amount.

     You put the dry ingredients together in separate bowls when you see something move across the ceiling of the kitchen like something out of a horror film out of the corner of your eye. You ignore it in favor of your master plan working. It could only be Sans coming to see what you’re up to now that he’s done making a mess in the most inconvenient place possible.

     You put the wet things in, and start mixing everything together, making sure to ‘finish’ the salted dough first before turning all of your ‘attention’ to the second batch.

     The second bowl is almost done when you see the first bowl glow blue and slowly rise towards the ceiling.

     “Sans, I know you’re up there.” You try not to smile. “How about I cut you a deal.”

     Sans teleports to the chair on the other side of the counter. The way he leans over it is suave, like he wants you to think he was there the whole time. Just an innocent skeleton who’s not trying to weasel all of the dough away from you and into his greedy mouth. “what’s this I hear about a deal?”

     You point to the bowl in your hands. “If you promise not to touch this dough, I’ll let you have the other one.”

     “that’s a pretty sweet deal.” Sans whistles. “what’s the catch?”

     “Exactly what I said. You get that one, and don’t touch this one. No catch.”

     The bowl slides to Sans’s side of the table. “you got it darlin’.”

     You let a smirk come over your face as Sans takes the first bite.

     "this dough isn't too bad." Sans tries really really hard to force himself into a neutral expression. He still looks a little flushed. Like he might want to spit it out. He collects himself enough to give you a wink. "it's super salty, like you.”

     He surprises you by eating the rest of it with no hesitation whatsoever, and laughs at the shocked look on your face. You put enough salt in there to make any sane person spit it out immediately. Guess that goes to show you just how strange your bonefriend is, and the lengths he’ll go to for a joke.

     The second batch comes out perfectly, and the giant kiss in the center of the cooling cookies is the perfect treat for the day. Sans only got a few, because he demolished the last batch of cookies that actually made it out of the oven and he kept giving you those big puppy eyes that he knows you can’t refuse. The ones with the big eyelights and wide sockets. It’s every bit as effective as when Papyrus does it. Damn these skeletons for being so adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Niya_Wonderland for giving me the idea for the second part of this. It was too good to pass up.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this floating around in my docs for so long. I'm glad I finally finished it.


End file.
